


Absent Friends

by faithinthepoor



Series: Once Upon a Time [25]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 07:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after In the Name of the Brother</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absent Friends

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows my [Fairytale Drabbles](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618763), [Mirror Mirror](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618771), [This Provincial Life](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618775), [Viviane or Nimue](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618809), [Dreams and Wishes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618851), [All the Better To….](http://archiveofourown.org/works/619484), [Magic Keys](http://archiveofourown.org/works/619497), [Curiouser and Curiouser](http://archiveofourown.org/works/619514), [Snow Blind](http://archiveofourown.org/works/620280), [Spinning Straw](http://archiveofourown.org/works/620288), [Wooden Hearts](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621128), [Poisoned](http://archiveofourown.org/works/622526), [True Love and Other Curses](http://archiveofourown.org/works/625038), [Spellbound](http://archiveofourown.org/works/628806), [Over the Rainbow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/630076), [Facades](http://archiveofourown.org/works/632227), [Lost Girls](http://archiveofourown.org/works/636939), [Monstrosities](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640162), [Love and Lies](http://archiveofourown.org/works/652912), [Something Wicked this Way Comes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/665458), [Dreamscapes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/672345), [Homecomings](http://archiveofourown.org/works/676052), [Test Match](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682287) and [Wishful Thinking](http://archiveofourown.org/works/697330)

The sight of a brunette on all fours tending to the tree causes her heart to race. For a second her eyes see what they want to see and a feeling of euphoria washes over her. It takes a moment but unfortunately her brain starts to process things correctly. Her mood falls as she realises the person in front of her is not wearing a stitch of designer clothing. The woman isn’t really wearing much clothing at all - a fact that is an impressive feat given the weather.

Emma pulls her own coat more tightly around herself and turns to leave. She didn’t think her presence had been detected but she must have made more noise then she thought because a voice calls out, “You don’t have to go.”

“God Ruby you must have the hearing of a dog.”

“No, just a wolf,” Ruby replies and Emma doesn’t fail to notice the sadness that tinges her voice.

She will never get used to this sort of thing. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend.”

“No offense taken.”

Ruby’s words aren’t entirely convincing but Emma doesn’t want to talk about that. She doesn’t want to talk about anything at all. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have interrupted. I’ll just go.”

She hasn’t even managed to take a step when Ruby yells, “Emma, wait!” Ruby dusts her hands on what little there is of her skirt and says softly, “I’ll go. Of the two of us, you are the one who should be here.”

Emma doesn’t know what Ruby means by that and she doesn’t want to ask. Mainly because she doesn’t want to know. “It’s no big deal,” she says with a shrug.

“She cares about this tree.” Ruby says cryptically and yet not so cryptically.

“Yes she does,” Emma admits. 

Ruby looks sheepish as she tells her, “I know there is a gardener but I thought it would help her feel better to have someone who understands how important it is tend to it.”

Emma looks down at the small red watering can beside Ruby and wants to laugh. The vessel is pathetically inadequate for the job and yet it is considerably more than Emma brought to the party so she is no position to criticise. “She’d like that.”

“And if she’d like anyone to be tending to it, it would be you,” the trace of sadness in Ruby’s voice is worse than when she mentioned the wolf and it sparks an ember of jealousy inside Emma.

“You are the one who had the sense to bring a watering can,” she points out. 

“This really isn’t about our respective gardening skills. It’s about what she would want.”

“She’s complicated. It’s hard to know what she would want. I just know that I wanted to feel close to her.” If she’s honest with herself she didn’t just want it, she needed it.

“I understand,” Ruby says. “I’ll let you be alone.”

Ruby beings to gather her stuff as Emma moves towards the tree. The blonde places a hand on Ruby’s shoulder and says simply, “Stay.”

“Are you sure?”

Emma nods and sits down beside the waitress. She reaches to touch the tree and is unable to hold back the rogue tear that slides down her face. “I’m so pathetic.”

Ruby doesn’t correct her but she does say, “I miss her too.”

The ember of jealousy glows a little brighter but in a strange way its warmth is comforting, “I’m glad.”

“You are?” Ruby could not sound any more incredulous.

Emma laughs softly. “She deserves more than to be hated. It’s nice to not to have to pretend that I do.” Her voice becomes little more than a whisper as she adds, “It makes me feel so alone.”

Ruby places an arm around Emma’s shoulders and tells her, “It will be all right. We will find her.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I don’t know.” Emma’s glad she didn’t let any sense of hope rise in response to Ruby’s words because this reply would have crushed it.

“That’s not very comforting.”

“I’ve looked everywhere for her.”

“Because of my parents?” she doesn’t bother to hide her bitterness.

“They did ask me to look for her but I was searching before that.”

“If you’d have found her would you have handed her over to them?”

“I don’t know,” Ruby says but then quickly corrects herself. “No that’s a lie. I wouldn’t have told them if I’d found her.”

“Why not?” Isn’t Sn…my…. Mary Margaret…isn’t she your best friend.”

“She’s more than that. She’s my family.”

“So why wouldn’t you have handed over Regina?” Emma had meant to sound calm but her voice cracked when she said Regina’s name.

“I love Snow and she is good person but no matter how hard Regina tries, no matter what she does, all Snow will ever see, all any of them will ever see, is the Evil Queen.”

“Tell me about it,” Emma says miserably. “Even Henry has no problem casting her in that role and he’s never even been to that hellhole you are all so found of.”

“You think the Enchanted Forest is a hellhole?” Ruby asks with genuine mirth.

“Hells yeah I do. I’ve lived in some pretty crap places but that forest of yours takes the cake.”

“It has its moments.”

Ruby’s defence of her homeland was hardly heartfelt but Emma still feels the need for further criticism. “If I never go back there it will be too soon.”

“So your time there was that bad huh?” 

“The worst,” Emma says and realises that she really means it. She wonders if she would feel that way if she’d had Regina and Henry with her. Thinking about Henry makes her a little uncomfortable. She wasn’t lying when she said he was happy to only see his mother as the Evil Queen. It’s as though his young mind can’t handle the situation anymore. He was crushed when she forced him to accept that Regina had killed Archie but looking back now Emma’s not sure if the devastation was over Regina’s guilt or Archie’s demise. Henry has happily accepted the return of the so-called doctor but is hardly welcoming his mother back with open arms. In fact he is looking to welcome her back with a well stocked armoury. 

Emma doesn’t know what to do about that. She doesn’t know how to fix any of this. The Charmings have increased their presence in Henry’s life and he is lapping up the attention they’ve been offering in their assumed parental role. They didn’t ask her about any of it. They just took. She can’t complain though. Her parents are meant to be the picture perfect template for all that is good and right and true. She can’t exactly claim that they would be a bad influence on her son but she still feels as though they are undermining her. She definitely feels that they are undermining Regina but there is little she can do about that. How can you tell the people Regina stole a child from that they have no right to interfere with the mother-child bond?

The more she thinks about it the grimmer she feels, “I hated it there but here’s not much better.”

“So why do you stay?” Ruby asks.

“For Henry,” her answer doesn’t even convince her.

“None of this can have been easy for him,” Ruby looks her up and down and then adds, “or for you.”

“No,” is the only response she was willing to provide.

“But it was easier for you when she was around.”

Emma doesn’t reply. Her skin bristles every time Ruby brings her up. For some reason she doesn’t feel that Ruby has the right to talk about Regina. She certainly feels that Ruby doesn’t have the right to miss her.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“It’s fine,” she says and hopes Ruby will take her at her word.

“I just thought you might want to talk about her. I thought it would help. It helps me.”

“And why is that?” the venom in her voice makes Ruby recoil slightly.

“Because it’s not easy to feel differently about her to the way the rest of the town does.”

“And exactly how do you feel about her?” She clenches her fists and bites the inside of her mouth. She didn’t even realise it was possible for her to feel this jealous.

“Is that what you really want to know?”

“It’s what I asked,” Emma responds through gritted teeth.

“I think you are more interested in how she feels about me.”

Emma can’t seem to breathe and she feels strangely lightheaded, “Perhaps,” she manages to whisper.

“Not the way she feels about you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Ruby’s words provide some comfort but not enough. “And what is it that she is meant to feel for me.”

The waitress places a hand over Emma’s as she says, “I really hope for your sake that you don’t need me to tell you that.”

“I thought I knew,” Emma’s voice is soft, “but it appears that she had something special with you.”

“Emma, I’m her friend.”

“So are you telling me that you and her never …..” Emma can’t complete the sentence she can even handle the thought.

“I wish I could tell you that.” Emma’s world feels like it’s falling apart. “What we did never meant anything to her, Emma.”

“And I wish I could believe that,” she also wishes she could act on her desire to punch Ruby in the face. 

“Emma, once she had you she wasn’t interested in me. She wasn’t interested in anyone but you.”

“Why should I believe that?” she asks bitterly.

“Because you know her and if you do you must know that fidelity wasn’t an interest of hers before you.”

“So she wasn’t faithful to you?”

“It was never about that. I told you, it didn’t mean anything to her. I should just be grateful I fared better than Graham.”

“You know about that?” Emma is honestly surprised.

“Well it’s not like she told me or anything. I know what everyone thinks about me but I am actually capable of putting two and two together.”

“So you think she killed him?”

“Don’t you?”

“No. I know she killed him.”

Ruby’s response is a simple, “Oh.”

“Oh indeed. I think, in a way, it’s my fault.”

“You think she killed him to prove she cared for you?” Ruby sounds scandalised, as though she has just heard top level celebrity gossip.

“Graham’s interest was straying. He told her he didn’t want to be with her and he kissed me and then he was dead.”

“Then I should be grateful that I remained a faithful little lapdog.”

“I wouldn’t want another death on my hands,” Emma tries to be humorous but she fails 

“Emma it’s not your fault.”

“But what does it say about me that it doesn’t really seem to bother me that she did it? Fuck, she killed a man and somehow that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change how I feel about her.”

“It says that you love her.”

“That’s no excuse. Love shouldn’t be that blind.”

“I don’t think you’re blind. Everyone else is but not you. They are only willing to see one side of her.”

“Maybe I’m no different. Maybe I see only the good.”

Emma was being deadly serious but Ruby laughs heartily. “Emma I don’t care how in love you are, it can not be possible to see only good in her.”

“No, I suppose not,” Emma allows herself to smile but the smile fades as she asks the question she has been avoiding. “So how in love with her are _you_?”

“Part of me loves her. Part of me wishes it could have been me and not you. Part of me still sees the Evil Queen who terrorised our lives so I know it’s better that she found you.”

“Maybe not,” Emma says with a shake of her head, “I’m starting to think that you are a better person than me.”

“I’m a better person than most,” Ruby flashes a devilish smirk.

“You appeared to be having a moment with Whale earlier so I don’t know that you get to be too superior.”

“Hey you don’t get to be the only one making morally ambiguous romantic choices.”

“Well at least you’ll have a chance to be with Whale, if that’s what you want.”

“You don’t think it’s the same for you?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see her again.”

“Emma she’ll come back to you.”

“I don’t even know that she’ll be able to.”

“If you’d seen the way her eyes light up when she talks about you, you would know that she will do everything in her power to get back to you.”

“You’ve talked about me with her,” she doesn’t know whether to be angry or touched.

“In a way. She is not the easiest person in the world to talk to.”

“No I guess not,” she feels a wave of warmth crash over her body and it draws tears from her eyes. “I miss her so much. I’m scared for her.”

“Emma she is strong.”

“But she’s not without her weaknesses,” Emma points out.

“She has you now. She didn’t before.”

She lets out a mirthless laugh, “I know everyone thinks I’m the saviour but I can’t save everyone. I’m not sure I can save anyone.”

“But if you could, surely it would be her.”

“I’d do anything for her,” she says with sincerity.

“It hurts but I’m glad that she found someone who loves her.”

“I…..I….I….,” she stammers. She loves Regina, more than anything, but it’s hard to say out loud. Love has never been easy for her.

Ruby covers Emma’s hand again and tells her, “It’s ok. I’ll keep your secret.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that. Her life before Storybrooke taught her that people can’t be trusted. That they lie and that they let you down. She doesn’t know if the people of Storybrooke are better or if they are just willing to lie for longer. Still, Ruby deserves some kind of a response and so she says, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Ruby says with a smile that really does seem genuine. Ruby grabs her watering can and tells Emma, “I'll give you some time alone.”

Emma nods in agreement but as Ruby goes to stand Emma says, “Wait.”

Ruby turns to her, “What? You miss my company already?”

She fixes her eyes firmly on the ground, “David or James, you know who I mean, said that while I was gone her fiancé came back from the dead.” Emma looks Ruby in the eye and asks her the question that she can’t ask anyone else, “What happened?”

A hand falls to Emma’s shoulder, “I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know.”

Emma nods and feels tears prick her eyes. Of course Ruby doesn’t know. That would have been way too easy. 

Ruby looks at her with concern, “I can stay if you want me to.”

She shakes her head slowly, “No it’s ok. I think I need some time alone.” The only response Ruby gives is to make a quiet exit. When she is almost out of sight Emma calls out to her, “Ruby?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad you don’t hate her. She needs all the friends she can get.” Ruby may provoke feelings of jealousy but at the end of the day Emma knows that more than anything Regina needs support. She needs people on her side. 

“Yes she does. I promise I’ll do the best I can to be a good friend to her.” There is a hint of pain and regret in Ruby’s voice.

Emma understands that being Regina’s friend isn’t the easiest thing. In this community it comes with a definite and unavoidable price. She can only hope that Regina returns and that both she and Ruby get a chance to see if it’s a price they are willing to pay.


End file.
